Michael and Me!!

I know that it might really seem illogical to some , but surely dance was not originated by very smart people. Wondering, who got the first idea of dancing, I think it must be some early man who got happy with a kill and started jumping out of joy to seek others' attention. Maybe some more who wanted a share in the kill started jumping so as to show their enthusiasm and here we have something called the origin of dance!! Some state that origin of dances were inspired from animal movements and dances like honey bee etc. but they do that because they can't communicate, we humans can! Even if dance was originated in form a rhythmic body movements to please God, as some state, do you think that was a good idea. I mean would God be like,"Hey dude! that girl moves real nice. Let me shower some good love and blessings on her!" and "What, you can't dance! Get lost, its hell you will be getting!"


Hence I think people will understand why I really get confused when I am asked to dance in parties. First of all, I don't understand, why do people need to lift their hands, jump on a leg, twist their neck, shake their knees, move their back and sweat like pigs to show that they are happy and enjoying the party. Secondly, I, like 98% of this world population cannot dance well, so there is no chance of 'impressing anyone' (I am sure that would have been the case either way, but I rather have the benefit of doubt :P). Thirdly, these 98% not so good dancers need others to dance with them, so that nobody notices and makes fun of them in the crowd. Hence, although they themselves know that they are doing something funny and laughable ,yet they do it. That clearly shows party dancing is a herd's mentality. Fourthly, around half (that is 49% of people) of them have the habit of dragging peaceful people from the crowd and encourage them to dance with them so as to show others that they can dance better than at least somebody else. I, on the contrary would have no benchmark and prefer to stay in the rest 49%. In fact in the whole of my life I have met just one guy who dances worse than me and how many parties can I take him with me to show that I am not the worst. Now, around one-third ( 33%) of the people in a party would always be drunk, and are too drunk to know that they are dancing. I surprisingly have never been so drunk to enter this category. Similarly, surely at least one in ten people in a party (10%) would be thinking he has paid way too much and would be dancing to make up for it. Moreover, if you take into account miscellaneous people like those who are dancing because they were bored or being forced to dance etc etc they will definitely account for some 5%. So you see people like me who have no reason to dance form just 1% of the disc population. We are a rare, peaceful and harmless species. Why bother us?

However, surely there needs to be a reason why I can't dance. As a child I used to one of those 4-5 kids who are made to sit with the groom on the ghodi during the baraat to make him realize the first lessons of the implications of an unplanned family. But that meant no dancing for us. Then came the school and with it the teenage obesity. So that definitely meant no dancing..... for philanthropic purposes. Even 'dancelessness' runs in my family and hence I cannot take help of my genes either. My ma just knows one step of dance and that's what she has been using for all of her life till now. So you see I was born not to dance!

But maybe the main reason why I can't dance is that I don't see any reason for it. And if anybody is still not convinced must learn from bollywood which has been constantly giving the us the message of uselessness of dancing, showing that the good guy has to dance around trees for seven long songs to get the average looking girl in saree while the bad guy does not even shake a leg to get the hotter and wilder 'Mona Darling'.
But guess you never saw that coming!